The Goal Is The Process, Not The Outcome
I was introduced to formal goal setting in 2012 in my first personal training job. It was actually something that was expected of us as trainers. To have clear and concise goals related to our health, fitness, career, finance, relationships and so forth. For if we were to be guiding clients who were investing financially in us to lead them to success via goal setting of their own, it made sense for us to have our own goals. To walk the talk.
In fairness, I actually believe whether you consciously goal set or not, we are all driven unconsciously by achievement from the day we take our first breath. We try and try to communicate until we learn language. We get up and fall down over and over until we learn to walk. We learn to socialise and make new friends at school, we learn to play sports, drive cars, apply for jobs, make money and so forth. We might not consciously set these goals for ourselves, but we are inherently goal oriented.
I think what’s missing however, is the satisfaction element in what active goal setting represents.
The achievement of the goal is not where the joy, satisfaction and learnings are.
As someone who has been setting goals for nearly 13 years now as well as witnessing goal setting and behaviour change in others through my career, I can tell you that upon reflection the size of the goal will directly correlate to the level of behaviour change in an individual.
I think two factors must be present in goal setting.
The goal must be appealing enough for an individual to want to pursue it
The person must be experiencing enough pain to make behavioural changes in order to achieve the goal.
But this is where goal setting becomes misunderstood.
We think we will be satisfied when we reach the goal, forgetting the decisions, sacrifices and small wins on the path towards the goal. The process.
I remember a mentor of mine asking me about my goals one day many years ago and he provided me three simple words.
Be - Do - Have.
Who do I have to be? What things does that type of person need to do? In order to have what you want.
The wins are in the being. Not in the doing or the having.
I remember the first 100km trail race I entered. I recall crossing the finish line so clearly. That feeling I wish I could bottle and carry around with me. The pure joy and elation I released when I crossed that line I will never forget. But what I was celebrating was the type of person I became in the process towards running 100km. A goal that big cannot be tackled instantly. You must prepare, plan, and execute a lot of minor actions to earn the right to step to the start line and to be confident you can complete the mission.
The type of person I needed to become to achieve that goal is what I was celebrating. I became disciplined. I became tenacious. I became driven. I became resilient. I became relentless.
All values I held dearly already but allowed to shine through this process.
Reflecting on this right now I am reminded that the goal is not the outcome. The goal is always the process. The being.
The being brings out the best in us.