Rams Head South, The Final Summit
Throughout our lives we face many difficult climbs. Some of those mountains can seem insurmountable. Sometimes they can get the better of us, yet at other times we make the choice to summit.
Something that I have done for a long time now is choose to push my physical and mental limits in the sport of running. More specifically, ultra running. There is something about what is required from me to complete these challenges that I find hard to understand or comprehend.
Firstly, what makes a person choose of their own free will to run for 5,10,15+ hours over mountainous terrain, unfavourable conditions, eating food that is not highly palatable and with sore legs, chafe and so on?
Is it avoidance? A way to deal with emotional pain? A method of control within oneself when other aspects of their life may seem like they are falling to pieces?
The answer to that question will vary from person to person.
Secondly, what makes a person choose to continue when their mind begins to justify why it is acceptable to stop or cut a run short? If you think about it from a detached perspective, stopping is a perfectly reasonable decision if your legs are screaming, your back has ceased up and you’ve been awake and moving since before the sunrise and it’s almost sunset.
An interesting moment occurred on a trip to the Kosciusko national park with 3 of my mates where our mission was to run Australia’s 15 highest peaks over 2 days.
Our plan was to tackle 11 peaks on day one and finish the remainder on day two.
52km, 2450m of vertical gain all in alpine terrain and highly exposed to the harsh elements of the Australian back country. Snow, wind, no shade, rocky scrambles and no marked course for 70% of the mission.
Day one almost broke us.
32km and 11 peaks including Australia’s highest peak our final summit of the day.
As I went to sleep that night in my sleeping bag and on my blow up mattress and pillow, I was questioning whether I had it in me to complete the final 4 peaks and felt this doubt even more so when I rose on the morning of day two.
But this is where returning to the initial question of understanding and comprehension comes to the forefront.
Knowing what lies ahead after what has passed leaves you with a decision to make where the decision to quit in the moment may relieve you of your pain and suffering, but the consequences of how you will look back on the decision in future leaves a lasting scar.
I kept my mouth shut and only let my running partners know my feelings once we had got moving and knocked the first few kilometres over, but the true shining moment of where all of the pieces of this fit together is when we were stood on top of the 14th peak with one to go.
Rams head south peak.
The four of us were busted. 42km in our legs, 2200m of climbing and we had summited many false peaks and rocky scrambles trying to locate the correct mountains.
As we reached the 14th summit we looked beyond to see that the 15th was a long way away. Internally we all later admitted that we died a little inside having felt we had almost conquered our goal yet had one final push that seemed out of reach. Here we faced the crossroads of asking the question, will anyone know if we don’t do the last one? We have done more than 15 peaks already, could we just say we’ve done the 15 highest?
Without a single word, each of us looked at each other and just took a step towards summit 15 and that was that. A non verbal decision was made that we would follow through on our commitment.
This specific moment became one of the most special parts of the entire weekend for me because no words had to be spoken for understanding and comprehension to occur.
As I sit here writing this entry, I am so proud of not only myself for following through on my commitment, but of the three men that went on the journey with me.
I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer for why we choose to do these things. If it makes sense in the moment or at a certain time in your life then go with it. It doesn’t have to make sense to others.
Just remember that on each mountain climb you face from this moment forward, either in life or out exploring the world with your own two feet, the choice to put one step in front of the other and keep moving forward is most often the right choice.