Father Time is not my daddy

Existential dread: Cognitively and emotionally recognising the inevitability of death.

A pretty heavy topic to write about.

Our continual march toward death is probably something that most of us don’t regularly think about. It’s too scary. It prompts us to take stock of our lives wondering if we have wasted time, reflect on mistakes, things we wish we had done differently and it also reminds us of the time we have left.

I know myself that at the ripe old age of 35 I have had thoughts of wasted time and missed opportunities reflecting on my past as well as fear that I am nearing 40 and feel like I haven’t accomplished a lot of things I want to accomplish. Yet time continues to tick by.

Yeah I’d say that’s a pretty heavy thought.

But what if we were able to use the notion of existential dread and of our finite time here to our advantage for learning, for connection and for action. It is in fact time after all that dictates almost anything and everything that we do.

We choose what time to go to bed at night so we don’t wake up tired. We have a boss that dictates what time we start and end our workday. We set time aside for play, for recovery, for sustenance. Cooking time for the meals we eat can’t be too short or too long or else we’d eat raw or over cooked food. It takes 9 months from conception to birth. We use google maps to get an indication of time taken to get from point a to point b. We have created concepts such as seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years to measure everything.

Time has complete control. A dominant, unrelenting force.

If we reflect on the time we have already spent, there is likely time you wish you could get back. I know there has been for me. However I also know that I have consciously put in the work to understand how I could use those instances I have wished I could do over to learn how to get better.

Time passed we can never get back, so how do we maximise time moving forward?

For me, it is connection to and understanding of self.

To what degree of depth can we connect with ourselves to better understand what is important to us and how we spend our time?

What is a worthwhile pursuit to you?

These answers will always change, because as we age and find our way down varying paths, our priorities shift. What was important to us in our teens may not be important in our 20’s or 30’s and so on.

This is where the idea of presence begins to become a dominant factor. All too often because we are creatures of habit we find ourselves on autopilot. Driving the same route to work or the gym, ordering the same meals, asking our partner the same “how was your day” question and repeating the same patterns over and over.

But what does it mean to actually be present? Well that depends on what circumstance you are presently in but whatever it is, if you are able to be right where you are, purely focussed on giving your absolute best to that exact moment, I think you begin to regain control over time.

You own each moment.

Father Time is not my daddy.