Set Your Floor, Set Your Ceiling

Setting boundaries. What is a boundary?

The informal definition: “Something Dan Wagstaff has struggled to set in his entire adult life”

Official meaning: “The limits and rules we set for ourselves”

The title of this entry is an interesting one. I think I heard it on a podcast recently from a retired athlete. I can’t be sure, but it struck a chord.

Set your floor, set your ceiling. I like how it sounds and its perceived implications.

I interpret this statement as a way to understand what the bare ass minimum you will accept for yourself is (your floor) and the things you are striving for (your ceiling).

Often when the term ceiling is spoken about, it is viewed from a negative standpoint. As in, “that person reached their ceiling” or viewing a ceiling as an endpoint at which no further progress can be made.

When we take the term ceiling literally, yes there will be a certain limit you can go. The standard ceiling height in most homes is 2.4m.

Some may have a little more room at 2.7m and newer architecturally designed homes may have cathedral ceilings. Regardless, there is still a limitation.

But what about a ceiling in the metaphorical sense?

That’s the beauty of metaphors. We can make of them whatever the fuck we want.

Back to boundaries.

Many times in my life I have betrayed my own boundaries. Often because I failed to set them. I had no floor and if I did, it wasn’t strong enough for me to stand on.

Setting your floor means knowing the bare ass minimum you will accept for yourself in life, in relationships, in your career, as a parent, a sibling, a friend and so on.

Most importantly, what you accept from yourself. If you have a weak floor, you will accept feeling sorry for yourself. You will accept not loving yourself. You will accept not getting that workout in or choosing the easy option instead of the right one.

Setting a strong floor is a lesson I continue to learn.

Funny thing is, I’ve always been able to set high ceilings. My ceilings (goals, ambitions and expectations) have often been sky high. The problem however, with having sky high ceilings on weak floors is that at some point you will come crashing down.

Again, a lesson that I continue to learn having crashed from the highest highs more times than I care to admit.

But what I will always do is rebuild. I will always continue to set the floor, and set the ceiling.