This Mess Is Mine
What does it mean to live a finite, fragile life in an infinite, eternal universe?
To have the luxury of giving meaning to an otherwise meaningless existence?
To be able to feel emotions and connect with other emotional beings?
To find purpose in a way that only you as the unique and rare individual that you are can find purposeful?
Brian cox, world renowned astrophysicist posed the original question to world leaders at a global summit for climate change and indicated that if we are the only ones that exist in an infinite universe, then as world leaders, they have a responsibility to ensure that our planet is taken care of.
That we, as a rapidly evolving global species don’t mess it up.
This got me thinking about what it means to “mess up”, this finite fragile life, in this infinite and eternal universe.
Once again, inspired by song lyrics I immediately thought of Vance joys song, mess is mine and the responsibility that I have for my own world.
The song is about being in a relationship and how when you commit to another being you take on every element of that person.
You bring all of your mess and you choose to accept all of theirs.
When referring to mess in this particular instance, I’m referring the mess inside of us. Not in the literal sense of not putting your clothes away or leaving dishes in the sink, but our deep mess.
The mess that only we as an individual can truly comprehend because we are the ones that harbour it and we are the ones that express it.
The kind of mess that shows up in traffic when you’re running late.
The kind of mess that shows up when your children won’t listen to a word you’ve said.
The kind of mess that shows up when you get fired from your job.
The kind of mess that shows up in conflict with your partner.
The kind of mess that shows up when you’re alone and lonely.
The kind of mess that shows up when you look deep into your own eyes in the mirror.
The kind of mess that shows up when a global pandemic shuts down the world for two years.
While we have little to no control over external events in the world, we maintain control over the events in our inner world.
And “our mess” is precisely that. Ours.
If you show up messy in conflict, in traffic, to your children, but most importantly to yourself, what chance do you have to find meaning, feel emotion freely, and find purpose in this finite, fragile life in an infinite and eternal universe?
Maybe that’s what gives us meaning and purpose. To navigate through our inner mess so we can show up to those we love and care about in a way that they deserve us. That we deserve ourselves.
Your mess, is yours to own and yours to clean up.
This mess is mine.
Not to fix. Not to be ashamed of.
To understand. To own.
The only way to clean this type of mess is with love.